


I shall believe

by kittys_devil



Series: Song Fics [4]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-17
Updated: 2011-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:05:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/pseuds/kittys_devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is the only one that is allowed to see Adam when he is this low, he is the only one that can heal him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I shall believe

_  
Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be alright  
And I shall believe   
_

I knew what he needed as soon as the phone rang. It had only been a day since it happened, but I was waiting. Just like I had every time before when the newest love of his life decided they couldn’t handle something about his life. He was so stubborn every time.Swore that this time would be different, this time he would be able to handle it on his own.But I knew better, and I was waiting for the call. 

“Tommy.” He barely whispers into the phone. 

“Have you slept at all Adam?”

“Can’t, it hurts too much.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Please….”

~*~

I find him just as I knew I would.Lying in his bed he is surrounded by three empty boxes of Kleenex, red puffy eyes, black smudges on his face, and a slight pink nose.Normally it might look like a cold, but I know differently. 

My heart breaks at the sight on the bed. It never gets any easier. Not that it really should.He is so big and larger than life most times. But right now, he is a broke soul vulnerable to the world.This is the smallest he ever looks, and I am the only one he allows to see him like this. 

I slip off my shoes, jeans and shirt sliding into bed with him.He hardly moves until he feels my skin against his.He lets out a whimper turning over as I pull him into my arms. 

The second his head hits my chest he is crying again. I run my hand slowly up and down his back as he cries.Whispering into his hair I tell him it will all be alright. 

I know it’s a lie, but I know it’s what he needs to hear right now.So I hold him until I know can he can face the truth…

~ ~ ~ ~ 

_  
  
_

_I'm broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
That I only come home  
When I'm so all alone  
But I do believe_

It hurt. It always hurts, but this time was worse than any other time. He was the one. Everything in my heart and soul told me that he was the one. My soul mate, the one I searched my whole life for. He was the one that completed my beating heart. 

We talked about getting married when we could. We were going to spend our lives together. We had dreams of growing together. We were going to raise a family, someday be grandparents together.All those nights that we laid in bed talking about now and the future. We had so many dreams together. 

I thought after five years I wouldn’t have to worry. I thought that living with him for four years, being with him for five made things a little more permanent.Fuck, we had promise rings. 

But instead I lay here on my bed unable to breathe, to think, to even feel.He gave me a reason. He gave me a list of reasons. But as my world came crashing down and I broke in two none of that mattered.

I call Tommy and tell him. I lie. I tell him I will be ok. That I knew it was coming, that I can make it through this on my own. I come up with any and every excuse to keep him from rushing over here. 

I am alone, curled up on my bed and not sleeping.It last a whole day before I am whispering his name into the phone asking him to come here. Tommy comes rushing over, just like he always does, when I am so alone. 

~ ~ ~ ~

 _  
That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me   
_

I thought he was perfect. It’s been almost six months now and I can’t get over him.He was the perfect man. And yet, I am still alone. 

I am still broken, though I hide it well. But I still see the looks from my friends, family and mostly Tommy. He knows. He is the only one that really knows how lonely and dark it is inside my heart. 

I’ve been going out more. I’m trying to get out of my house, out of my safe zone to let myself live again.

But it always ends up with me back at home thinking. It’s the thinking that is the most dangerous.When I let my mind wander to the life we were going to have.The happily ever after that only comes in the movies.

I have tried talking to him, trying to fix things between us.He says there is no hope, that it’s over and I need to move on. But I still love him.I still need him with all my body and soul. 

Once again it comes down to me admitting the thing I don’t want to face…

~ ~ ~ ~

 _  
Please say honestly you won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe   
_

__  
Adam calls today.He is random and rambling and trying to tell me something. I smile knowing what it is, hoping that finally he will face the truth he’s had all along. 

We meet for dinner, something fancy just quiet and only the two of us.He’s been alone for so long. I know he has been busy and that it's his excuse any time someone asks. But I know there is more to it. I just wait for the day when he realizes what he already has.That I have been waiting for him all along. 

We head back to his house after dinner to watch some random movie. We are barely into it when he looks over at me with a lost look in his eyes. 

“Promise me something Tommy?”

“What’s that?”

“That you aren’t going anywhere.”

“I’m here now Adam. I’m always here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

He lets me hold him the rest of the movie. I don’t know how to tell him that I’m not going anywhere and I will wait forever for him. 

I’m never giving up on the man I love. 

~ ~ ~~

 _  
Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key   
_

__  
It’s late when I hear the knocking on my door. I am not expecting anyone and I jump a little at the noise.

“Adam?”

He looks up with tears streaking down his face. 

“Oh Adam. Come here.”

Somehow I manage to hold him and move us both to my bed at the same time.He lays there and cries for some time. Neither one of us say anything. I just hold him as he lets everything out. 

I don’t even ask. I don’t need to any more.When he finally calms down we slip out of our pants and back into bed.I run my fingers over the tattoos on his arms trying to lull him to sleep. 

He is almost asleep when I hear him mumbling. Nothing I can really understand at first. 

“You heal me glitterbaby, you are the key to my heart….”

I feel the tear slide down my face finally hearing him say what I have waited so long to hear.

~ ~ ~ ~

 _  
Never again  
would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe   
_

__  
It’s another month before I see Adam again. We talk, but nothing serious. So when he calls and asks me to come over of course I say yes. 

He greets me with a hug and a worried look on his face. I almost hold my breath hoping he is not going back into the dark place he was hiding in for so long. 

He leans down kissing me softly. He breaks the kiss but doesn’t move away from my lips. 

“It’s you Tommy Joe. You complete me. It’s always been you. I’m done running. If you will have me, you will have my love completely. All of me, baby.”

“I know Adam. I’ve been waiting. I knew you would figure it out one of these days.”

“But how?”

I lean up kissing him sweetly.

“You told me in your sleep.”

“But…”

“Not everything works out how you think baby, but you just have to believe.”


End file.
